Did Coach Hines Just Ask Me Out?

Okay, so for any of you who know that MAD TV skit, Coach Hines is possibly the best character they ever created. He is the quintessential, stereotypical high school gym teacher and he rings true because, well, every high school in America has a version of him in some way, shape, or form.

Well, the high school I teach at is no exception. We've got a Coach Hines instilling the fear of God in our student body as well. But I've never actually spoken with him. What does a former Division I (or is it II) Lacrosse Champion, wrestling enthusiast, and GNC card carrying member have in common with me? A Jane Austen admirer, grammar enthusiast, and a Borders card-holding A.P. English teacher?

It's both our turns to chaperone the Sr. Prom this weekend, that's what.

At any rate, I am not sure how Coach Hines (no real names here)knew that I wasn't bringing a date. He probably figured that chaperoning a bunch of hormonal eighteen year olds is as lame a first, or even fifteenth, date idea as I did, and assumed I have the good sense of not bring a non-educator into the fray. Or maybe he just decided to take a chance. Whatever the reason, the actual asking was so low-key yet excruciatingly awkward that I had no idea that he was asking me out until we had set a time and meeting place, with no chance for me to back out.

Here's how our conversation went this morning, 3rd period, ver batim:
CH: *Knock at the door*
ME: Come in. (I was passing out my students' 19th century American Poetry exams, and couldn't get to the door as I was in the middle of the room).
CH: Sorry to interrupt, Elsie, er, I mean, Ms. Lastname. I didn't realize you were teaching this period.
ME: That's okay. Can I help you with anything?
CH: Yes. No. Well... (Two of my athlete students started snickering in the back). You got something to say, Belanger?
Belanger: No, Coach.
ME: Everyone, eyes on your own paper and no talking. (Turning my attention back to CH). You were saying, Coach?
CH: Yeah, this can wait. When's your free period?
ME: Oh, okay. Well, it's usually 6th period but I have a couple of errands that I need to run that I just won't get to after school, so was really hoping...
CH: (A little crest-fallen) Oh, sure, yeah. I get it. No big deal. No worries.
ME: But if it's important, I can step outside a second.
(He nodded and I followed him just outside my classroom door, giving my students the eye of death, should they even contemplate cheating).
CH: So Friday's the prom, and I have to be there and you gotta be there, so let's both be there.
ME: (In my head, I said, "Um, yeah, the law of physics dictates that we'll both be there." I decided to be polite instead). If you're worried that I'll back out and leave you with the responsibility alone, don't worry. I wouldn't be that cruel.
CH: No! No, that's not what I meant. What I mean is...we gotta eat, right? And then make sure these punks don't get knocked-up or anything.
ME: Riiiiight. I'm sorry, can you just -
CH: So I think Ruby Tuesdays is a good place for it.
ME: (Thinking "Getting knocked-up?")
CH:You can choose what you like and I get what I like. Then we'll head over to the school together.
ME: Yeah, I like Ruby Tuesdays.
CH: Good. Pick you up at 5. See you Friday.
Me: O-o-okay.

Then he spotted an 11th grader who's always causing some trouble, wandering around the hall, probably without a hall pass, and bounded towards the kid like a bounty hunter with a vengeance. I walked back into my classroom, where all the eyes were on me. I quickly deflected the attention by reminding them they only had 40 minutes to complete the test, or take a zero.

So yeah. I suddenly have a date, and I am not even sure how I feel about it. I'm not even sure HE's sure.He's attractive, and dresses a lot better than the MAD TV Coach Hines, but... All that keeps coming to mind is this Coach Hines skit, and a prayer that we can find SOMETHING to talk about while at Ruby Tuesdays. Yikes!